I AM HERE. F_____.

Let me say only a few words, as I am anxious to write and tell you that I was with you tonight on your last visit to the home of my son, (Mr. Fontain), and was hoping that the opportunity would present itself for me to write. But, as you know, I was disappointed, and I know that my daughter was also; for she expected that, in the event that you should call at her brother’s home, she would be able to get a communication from me.

As I could not write there, I thought I would accompany you home in the hope that I might write, as I am now doing. For I heard you say that you had received a letter from your wife every night, and that, if that should happen tonight, I might have the chance to write.

Well, I want my daughter to know that I approve of her searching for the truth, which she may find in Spiritualism if properly sought for. And notwithstanding that some of my family do not believe in it and treat it with indifference or disbelief, yet, in it many truths may be found. It is a truth itself, and it is waiting for mortals to investigate and learn that it is true. In it are those truths that will lead them to much greater happiness than they now have on earth, and infinitely more than they can possibly find should they come to the spirit world without a knowledge of these truths.

My family knows that I was a strict orthodox and believed in the teachings of the Bible as the church to which I belonged taught, and which I, myself, taught. I died firmly established in that belief, and I came into the spirit world wholly impregnated with this belief, expecting to meet Jesus and to be admitted to the Presence of God. And, according to my beliefs, I was justified in having such expectation. But, alas, how different was my experience when I left the mortal world, and how my expectations were shattered in a moment, as it were!

As my spirit left my body, I was fully conscious of the change that was taking place, and knew that I was dying, but was perfectly calm and without a particle of fear. I suffered no pain or dread of what I should meet, but, rather, felt a happy expectation in the thought that my troubles of the earth life were past forever, and that soon I would be at rest, finding my home among the chosen children of God, and having Jesus welcome me and take me in his arms of love. All the expectations that I possessed before my passing were with me, and much accentuated, and no doubt of my realizing the same entered my mind for a moment to disturb my hopes. I also expected to meet my loved ones who had gone before, and to enjoy the happiness of their presence and purified condition of soul.

Well, I soon found myself a spirit, dissevered from my body, possessed of joy and, as mortals say, lighter than air. Figuratively speaking, I seemed to be walking on air, with nothing to interfere with my ascension to the bright realm where I expected to find my beloved ones and the Christ of my beliefs and love.

I hardly realized my separation from my body before some of my loved ones met me and welcomed me with love and cheer. They told me that they were so happy that I had come over, and that I must not be afraid or doubt that I was then an inhabitant of the spirit world. I can scarcely tell you how happy I was, how the memories of the cares and burdens of my earth life left me, and how I seemed to be in an atmosphere of love and heavenly joy. The meeting with them was more than I had anticipated, and I thought how it had not entered into my mind on earth to conceive of the beauty and grandeur of the spirit home^[1] which Jesus had said he was in heaven preparing for all those who believed in him. Nor did I at first reflect upon the great sacrifice and atonement that Jesus had come to earth to make for me, and which he did make.

But, soon, I remembered that my great expectation was to see Jesus and to feel the influence of his love; and, also, to get into the heaven where the Father was, and to join with the mighty hosts in singing hallelujahs and songs of thanksgiving. And I then asked my angel loved ones where Jesus was, and when I should enter into the Presence of the Father to receive His Benediction of approval as a faithful and obedient child.

And, then, in a loving way and in a manner to make my disappointment less intense, they told me that Jesus was in the Celestial Spheres, and that they had never seen the Father; that He was a way up in the spheres where no spirit had yet entered; and that no spirit had ever seen His “face” or heard His “voice,” no matter how exalted and developed that spirit might be. They told me that I was mistaken in my beliefs, and that it was only by the development of my soul in Love that I could possibly ascend to the Celestial Spheres where the Master was; that belief in the blood washing or in the vicarious atonement would not fit my soul for the Celestial Spheres; that only the Divine Love in my soul and the freedom from my erroneous beliefs would enable me to become a possessor of the mansions that Jesus was preparing for those who became in At-onement with the Father; that what they told me was the truth, and that sometime Jesus would tell me the same thing. And while I could not go to his home, yet, they told me that he frequently came to the earth plane and endeavored to help and comfort spirits who had not the soul Love that enabled them to become children of the higher spheres.

Well, you can imagine my astonishment and disappointment, and how the nakedness of my beliefs appeared to me. As I thought of the long life that I had given to the cultivation and establishment of these beliefs and expectations in my own mind, and that I had no other knowledge or hope of salvation, I became doubtful of everything that was told to me. My God became no God, and Jesus, as my savior, became no longer my savior, but a man who had deceived me during all the long years of my life. I became resentful and hardened, and refused to believe in anything, for I thought that I was honest with myself and honest with God while on earth. The Bible had been certified to me as God’s true revelation, with the certain and only plan of man’s salvation, and I had devoutly believed in this plan and endeavored to live the life that entitled me to salvation. When I thought of these things, the realization of my deception made me rebellious, and I almost hated spirits and God.

I was permitted to indulge in these thoughts for a while without interruption. And then my friends told me that these thoughts were very harmful and would prevent me from learning the true Way to salvation and happiness, and that the longer I indulged in my feelings of resentment and thoughts of having been deceived, the greater would be my stagnation in my progress, and the darker would become my surroundings.

They told me very soon that all things in the spirit world were controlled by the unchangeable Laws of God, that these laws required that I should go to the place that my soul’s condition fitted me for, and that they would have to leave me for the time being. They said further that all the beliefs in all the world will not determine the place in which a newly arrived spirit will have to find its home, unless those beliefs be true, and that the beliefs that I had, and on which I depended for my salvation, were not true.

Well, I found my place and, with it, darkness in which I remained for a long time, refusing to believe what was told to me as to the true Way to Light and happiness. And, just here, I want to say that it is not an easy thing to lay aside or get rid of the beliefs of a lifetime on earth, even though the surroundings and disappointments of the spirit show that such beliefs must be false; and that belief—a merely intellectual belief—is a very important factor in determining the temporary destiny of the soul.

I have written a long time and I will not relate in detail how I learned the Truth, found the Light, and was started on my progress to the higher spheres; or how Jesus came to me, showered on me his love, and told me of the things that would be mine if I would only follow his advice.

He said that the great stumbling block to the progress of a spirit in its search for the Truth and the mansions in the higher spheres is this erroneous and damning belief in his vicarious atonement, etc., which so many spirits who come to the spirit world bring with them.

I am now very happy, and I am in the Fifth Sphere where there is beauty and happiness beyond all conception. And if the opportunity were mine tonight, I would endeavor to give you some faint idea of my home and its surroundings, and of the beautiful spirits who are my associates.

(Is there any message you’d like to give your daughter?)

Someday, I know this home will be hers, for she will not have the burdens of the beliefs that I had to overcome. And, just here, I must say that, as she knows how very dear she is to me and how much I must love her in having so much of this great Love of the Father in my soul, she must also know that I would not deceive her for all the world. And, knowing this, she must take my advice and seek for this Great Love of God which made such a happy spirit of her father. Let these old orthodox beliefs as to the plan of salvation leave her, and let her pray directly to the Father for His Love, and she will receive all that is necessary for a great earthly happiness and for a joy unspeakable in the spirit world.

I am with her very often in her earthly troubles, and I try to help and console her; and, sometimes, I do succeed a little. She must remember that these trials are only for a moment, and then will leave her forever, and that the love and influence which her father is throwing around her will never leave her. In that moment which mortals dread the most—I mean of death—her father and other loved ones will be with her and take her in their arms of love. And she will never have a fear or dread as to where she is, for love will be so great that her soul will respond in such a way that all else will be forgotten. So, tell my daughter to try not to let her troubles and cares worry her so she will neglect the presence of the consolation which we try to bring to her.

Well, I have written as much as I feel I am justified in doing, as your time is needed for others as well. But your wife, who is so good, says that I must not fear that I have consumed too much time, for she is always interested in making known to mortals those things that will make them happy on earth and certain of heaven.

I should like to say something to my wife, but I see that she is not in condition to receive my message; for she is suffering as I suffered, unconsciously, in the dogmatic beliefs of her church. Oh, if I could only come to her in my appearance of earth and tell her of the errors of her beliefs, and of the Truths that have made me a free and a true child of the Father, I would do so with the rapidity of light and with the hope that all my love for her would give me! I never loved her on earth as I do now. And when she comes to the spirit world, she will not come as a stranger; for a greater love than she has ever conceived of will meet her, and she will know the lover.

Tell my daughter to read what I have written to her mother. And even though her mother will not believe, yet, some of the things that I have said will find a lodgment in her memory. They will come with her to the spirit world and help her in her disappointment in not having her expectations realized.

And what I have said to you, my daughter, I say to my sons; and I urge them to think of these things that are so vital to them as mortals, as well as when they become spirits.

Sometime, with your permission, I will come again and write to my folks. So, thanking you, and with my love to all my dear ones, I will say good night.

Your brother in Christ, 

F_____.